They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
