Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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