so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
She is in my trunk
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
