haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i just sent this text using only my big toe
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
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