Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
