My brain says no but my pants say off.
nutella sex= disaster
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
