Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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