i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Randomize