i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
