these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
