i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
