everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
