..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
