If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Randomize
