So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
