know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
