she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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