I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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