brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize