Me. At least after what I've been through.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
