So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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