i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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