I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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