i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
