dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
