bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
