Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
