I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
