I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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