I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
