the new term for farting is butt boxing.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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