This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
