Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
handjob tips. give me some.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize