I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
