Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
