she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
