I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You left your underwear on the fireplace
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
