they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
