i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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