They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
