You really coming over, don't trick.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
