remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
