if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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