I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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