as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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