"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
