yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
