i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Randomize
