would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize