I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
