Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
