I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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