I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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