So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
