My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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