just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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