dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm at about main and main street
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
