Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
