best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
