Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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