She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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