i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
