He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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