is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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