Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Jerry, you need to find god
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
