"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I have fence marks all over my body
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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