she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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