I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
