Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
