Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
