whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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