Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
