my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
