Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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