You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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