Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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