All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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